He brought me back to the time that's lost in my world
The feeling has never been so palpable yet puzzling
The lit cigarette, with the light smoke uprising and blending into the air
It was the years of adolescence, the heartbeat of growing-up
Air is chilly, he grabbed my hands, sheltering them with warm breath.
Are those holes on the wall from WWII, I asked
No, it couldn't be, he said
Here, Martin handed me the shoehorn
I raised my head, with a smile on my face
Thank you, I said.
The shoehorn was hung at the apartment entrance
I couldn't remember its color
Is it red, or black, or maybe green?
I told Martin, sometimes my memories fade away, that's why I started to take photos, and write, about you, about life
Martin took me to Thai Park
It's a local hangout spot that I otherwise wouldn't have gone
There were endless arrays of vendors, mixing noodles with vegetables, cooking in the shadow of their umbrellas
I handed a coconut to Martin, here is some coconut water
He drank the coconut water from a straw, and looked at me, it tastes different
Because there are too many additives in the coconut products we eat, I said, this is how coconut supposed to taste like
Do you want to stay with me for the rest of the week, He asked me politely
Yes, I'd love to
I cancelled my travel plans to Prague and moved in, with the 2 bags with which I have always travelled
At one point, my sweater was casually thrown on the sofa because it smelt like cigarettes. I don't like the smell of cigarettes on clothes, because the smell is gray; but I didn't mind the smell on his face and beard - it adds more characters to his image in my head
I volunteered to cut Martin's hair, not because that I'm so good at it but I believed it would turn out to be great. Just trimming on the side, I said, and you will look amazing combing the hair backwards. He never responded with a yes or no, but I knew he was thinking about it. Of course, he was smart enough to detect my half-joking-half-serious proposal and didn't let me do it
He said his grandfather had a lot of hair, till today, but he may lose it one day.
I would kiss on your bold head, I said
Summer always seems so short and jittery
I walked around his apartment and took plenty of pictures with this tablet-size iPhone. The photos turned out to be great, thanks to the unusual angles.
Black and white photos are sad for a reason. It realizes the loss of time and memory, the dimming color of gray, like Japanese Ivy crawling on your body.
Maybe those photos were taken for a better reason.
For a few days, I felt so peaceful and safe, like I had nothing to worry about
It was the power of love. We are all calm, embracing and peaceful like a sleeping infant
Sometimes I just wanted to sleep for a few days, doing nothing but sleep. My slight depression has been worn on for a long time, like a floating boat in ocean.
Hope one day, one day, I will find a harbor, and rest. Rest well.
This is where Angie lives, he pointed at the direction of Bellevue Place when we were strolling in Tiergarden.
Who is Angie, I was curious
She knows exactly what to say and when to say it, Martin told me about how he thinks about Angela Merkel while we were walking back home from a "failed" performance attempt. And then one of us leaned on a sculpture-like stone on the street. And then, we kissed
The possibility of us exploring the world excites me
Again, I'm feeling sensitive, happy, excited, nervous, anxious, proud, restlessly hopeful
All because of you
All because of you
I want to be with you, holding your hands in Bryan park, jogging with you along Hudson River, kissing your neck, and hugging you from back when you brush your teeth